


in which you don't fuck with jehan

by A_Butter_Churner



Series: I've never met someone who yearns for their middle school days [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Middle School, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, MIDDLE SCHOOL AMIS, Non-Binary Jean Prouvaire, Series of Oneshots, i've wanted to write this for so long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27742336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Butter_Churner/pseuds/A_Butter_Churner
Summary: don't fuck with jehan. just don't do it.
Relationships: Combeferre/Courfeyrac (Les Misérables), Courfeyrac & Jean Prouvaire
Series: I've never met someone who yearns for their middle school days [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129988
Comments: 7
Kudos: 19





	in which you don't fuck with jehan

**Author's Note:**

> y'all have no idea how long i've wanted to write this. seriously.

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and the fact that no one should be wearing a magenta crop-top, rhinestone studded green baggy pants, and mustard-yellow sneakers… ever.

Of course, Jean Prouvaire is probably immortal, will definitely become a notorious tax evader, and is wearing a magenta crop-top, rhinestone studded green baggy pants, and mustard-yellow sneakers with unreal confidence as they make their way to their locker, inviting the stares of the entire seventh grade hallway, and not all of them welcome.

As the boys with That Haircut (you know, the one that suits them as well as Zuko’s ponytail in Book One of Avatar?) gawk and gaggle like the apes they are, Jehan has to resist the urge to say “you wanna bang me so bad it hurts.” Tempting, but the Assistant Principal is stalking the halls because he has no life, and they’re pretty sure he has the ears of a bat so they decide against it.

Two attempts and six spins of the combination lock later, Jehan manages to open their locker, only to have it shut not two seconds later by a certain brunette.

“Courf! Seriously?” they groan.

“Hiya. Nice _ensemblé_ , by the way. Definitely won’t attract attention, considering Mr. ‘I See Everything’ is like… right there.” Courfeyrac gestures to the utter monstrosity Jehan had on.

“Remind me again how you’re not failing French?”

“I’ll have you know it’s because of my boyish good looks and charm.”

“Uh huh, ok.” Spinning the combination again, the lock became slightly stuck. “Shoot, Courf, you jammed it!”

“Dude, it’s fine, we’ll just get a key from one of the teachers. Which means _you_ are now my late pass.” Courfeyrac punctuated this statement with a grin and an arm slung around them.

Jehan rolls their eyes, leaning their head on Courf’s shoulder. “You spent the morning staring at Combeferre instead of opening your locker, didn’t you?”

Courf’s cheeks flush red. “Lies and slander. I was staring at Combeferre, and then I came over here to bother you. But no I did not, in fact, open my locker.”

“Called it.”

“Shut up.” Courf pouts, sticking a half-chewed piece of gum back in his mouth.

“Gentlemen?”

Courfeyrac and Jehan glance up to see the Assistant Principal himself towering above them.

“Nice knowing ya, buddy.” Courfeyrac looks Jehan up and down, knowing full well that his friend was about to be made to go change.

But, as you and I know, he had forgotten one thing. Jean Prouvaire is an eldritch being not of this world. You can’t dress-code them.

The Assistant Principal had stopped them for another reason.

**_~During Study Hall~_ **

“I can’t believe I got detention for chewing _gum_ when you were wearing… _that._ ”

“Locker karma, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> updates periodically! (it's not a cohesive story, just sets of one-shots because... public school amirite)
> 
> all stories inspired by true events in my middle school
> 
> toss me a kudos or comment, will ya? (they are my biggest motivators)
> 
> hit me up on tumblr @the-butter-churner


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